Arranged Marriage To Bertie Gilbert
by NaturalSlytherin
Summary: A normal somewhat obsessive girl. An actor who captured the hearts of many. Stuck in an Arranged Marriage. With no way out.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi. Im Megan. This is my first Fanfic. So it sucks. But hey I tried. **

**I got inspiration from 'Arranged Marriage To Ian Somerhalder' by **NykkiLeighVampireHeart and '**Arranged Marriage To Steven R McQueen' by CharlieFen.******

**Oh btw. word of warning... Rating might be changed because of 'Caroline'... You'll see what I mean.**

You see, when the doorbell rang that gracious Saturday, I was on Facebook, EGoRF to be exact.

I know what you're probably thinking… 'What the hell is EGoRF?' Well you see at school, me and my friends are obsessed. Anything Glee, Harry Potter, Starkid, you name it, we freak over it daily. So in the summer holidays my best friend Meygen got bored and decided to make a group named 'Epic Group of Random Fandom's'.

This group is our outlet. For Caroline, it's a place other than Narnia (tumblr), to share the ins and outs of her mind, which is extremely perverted and trained to only think about sex, gay sex to be precise. For Ginny, it's a place to make us feel inferior with her Ravenclaw style of wit and brains, for Sophie, a place for her random straight-faced, hilarious comments. For Reileigh, a place to get caught up with the latest gossip, and for me, Andy, and my friend Meygen to share our undying love for:

Darren Criss

Chris Colfer

Joey Richter

Brian Holden

Joe Walker

Joe Moses

Rupert Grint

Daniel Radcliffe

Tom Felton

And Bertie Gilbert

So now you know the workings of the group… but I'm rambling off topic. So! Saturday, the group were freaking about how much Bertie looks like a Drarry lovechild. NOT. EVEN. JOKING! And also sounds like one too. (_It__'__s __cruel __really, __Mother __Nature __creating __the __perfect __Drarry __love child__… __and __making __our __Drarry __shipping __hearts __flutter __with __only __a __thought.__*fangirl __sigh*.)_When the doorbell rang, naturally no-one was home except me and my 2 (hyperactive) dogs, Ruby and Bailey. So after the battle of getting the two English Springer Spaniels to not attack the person/people at the door, I finally got to open it. And I just so happened to die.

At my very own front door, was Bertie freaking Gilbert. Plus his mother of course.

I was greeted by a blinding smile (literally) from Bertie's mum and an eager (and slightly off-putting) "Hello. You must be Andrea". Still I was shell-shocked, stuttering my way through the formalities but I eventually invited my two guests in.

"Is your mum home by any chance?" more eager questioning.

"Um… She's out shopping at the moment but should be back at any second. Would you like to wait?"

After a quick nod I escaped to the kitchen to make drinks snacks and what not.

I couldn't help but overhear the guest's conversation.

Mrs. G – "Well Bertie what do you think?"

A slightly pissed off sounding Bertie- "She seems nice, a bit confused as to why were sitting in her living room. But hey! If were gonna be forced to marry each other, she's got to get used to it right."

Me (thinking) - O.O I swear to God if I heard that right *in the words of Caroline* I'm gonna cut a bitch.

I cautiously made my way into the room almost dropping everything when the dogs ran into my skinny legs after escaping. On reflex Bertie set out to stop the tumbling tower of stuff, succeeding too. Briefly our arms brushed small surges of lightning flickered through us. Unnaturally dark brown eyes met light happy blue… Of course when parents are around these moments are always broken, seeing as my darling mother (note the sarcasm) choose that precise moment to walk through the door in all her 'I love to embarrass the hell out of my children' glory.

Around half an hour later I found myself running to my room and barricading the door. Earlier when I eavesdropped? Yeah you remember? I wasn't hallucinating. Apparently my mum and Bertie's mum were best mates in school and did everything together. But siriusly there's a limit to these things. It's not like when your 4 years old and you meet each other for the first time then suddenly you decide 'when we have children… we should arrange them to be married. It's worked in our families before. So what the hell! " That's a lovely pack and all but you sorta change your mind when you're the daughter being married off to a stranger. I can't believe it. I bet you can't either right? Let me spell it out.

I'm

Stuck

In

An

Arranged

Marriage

To

Bertie

Gilbert.

**Well. That was it. The first chapter of this Fanfic. I tell you now that the 'Epic Group of Random Fandoms' does infact exist. It is a closed group. The people are real but names are changed. 'Caroline' is extremely perverted. I mean literally. Most of her posts are infact about gay sex. My character is infact Meygen. And Andrea/Andy does not exist. At all. K so review and critisize or if you will. Byebye for now...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi people... Thanks to everyone who read this or even clicked on it. Its ok. Not the best but my 'beta' ;) thinks its alright. So here you go... Mostly straight from EGoRF... buh bye now.**

"This is how I spend my Saturdays.

(The Perv Face- BertieBertG- Youtube)

Meygen: So this guy looks like the Drarry lovechild and his voice slightly reminds me of Daniel Radcliffes... :P

Caroline: That's cause he is Drarry's lovechild

Actually is.

He's the guy who played Scorpius in Deathly Hallows Part 2

*awkward*

Meygen: I know Caroline.

We already had this conversation.

Around 150 posts ago

…

Caroline: *awkward*

Meygen: Agreed

Caroline: I'm a Unicorn.

Meygen: :D

Like Kurt

And Brittany

Caroline: :DD

Sophie: He does the lip thing Caroline! He does the lip thing! Btw He looks AND sounds like a Drarry lovechild…

Caroline: WHAT LIP THING?"

Oh great… Now I'm wondering what this lip thing is as well as how the hell it's possible that I'm supposed to be marrying Bertie Gilbert. I mean come on people; this is a guy I've been obsessed with for God knows how long… Actually he probably doesn't… but anyway going off topic.

So naturally I was waiting for someone to burst into my heavily barricaded room and yell that I've just been pranked. Cause this shiz doesn't happen in the real world. It happens in the pureblood wizard community and erm… some eastern place. I was never any good at geography, but alas, it twas not to be.

Instead Bertie crashed into my door and made my defences fall to the ground.

Me (thinking): _Huh.__Looks__like__my__barricades__weren__'__t__that__good__after__all__:/__But__he__is__a__lot__stronger__than__he__looks__O.O_

Me (screeching): WHAT THE HELL? WHAT IF I WAS CHANGING?

Bertie: O.o… Once a pervert… Always a pervert…

After a little glaring contest (which I won, thanks to Meygen's training), he gave up and collapsed on my bed. "Ugh, this sucks. No offence of course"

"Agreed, I mean what gives them the right to do this?"

"I know there our pa-… What's that?" Bertie's attention turned to whatever was beside him. Of course me being me, I didn't realise that he was reading straight from the group. Not. Good.

I snatched the laptop from the actors grasp but it was too late. He had seen the mind of Caroline. Curse her ability to find excruciatingly accurate quotes about gay sex.

His face. Was. So. Goddamn. Funny.

I was reduced to tears and giggling fits. So this Caroline person?

Me: …

"She thinks about gay sex?"

Me: *nod*

"All the time…"

"Yup pretty much… if you think that pictures bad, you haven't seen anything… She live blogged Torchwood. For 3 Hours Straight."

"Woah."

I know it was probably rude or whatever but I had to know why Bertie Gilbert was in my room. Apart from the obvious elephant in the room of course, but apparently he moved down here to Kent… Onto my road... Sure… that's not awkward at all!

But hey, I'd live. Sorta…

**Yeh... K... My Beta's the real Caroline so... she only reads this to find out about her character... so yeh. Review, critisize, buy a puppy, dont really give a damn but hey! Bye.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello. Yes. Its a new chapter. Involving Klex. Have fun.**

Did you know that when there's a sex riot on Narnia about the best gay couple since the bible, you tend to not realise there's a celebrity in your room.

At that precise moment I did not give a damn though. I mean I was too busy counting down days, fantasising conversations… and maybe a tiny smidge more than just verbal communication.

I mean who couldn't not freak…

Its Klaine…

On November 8th…

Having sex.

So to make this clear as… well clear glass… I, and the entire Klaine fan base just found out that Klaine. Kurt and Blaine. Hummel and Anderson. Dapper and Diva. Diet Coke and Sunglasses. Are going to have sex. Of course Narnia exploded. I was legitimately surprised that we didn't cause the internet to crash.

But anyway on November 8th some sirius shiz is gonna go down. So then the evolution of the Klex riot began. Within seconds there were: fanfics, images, interviews and most importantly gif's. But whilst I was lost in Narnia, Bertie entered the room. I tell you now. Me, Meygen and Caroline. Teamed up on EGoRF and Narnia. Freaking about Klex. Whilst my arranged husband is in the room?

.Disaster.

He asked me what the hell was going on, since I was dying as well as being glued to my laptop… call it multi-tasking if you will. I couldn't speak. I found a gif to explain the situation… It said 'It's a Klaine SEX RIOT!' In flashing letters.

Although he seemed to not be affected… I think he secretly died of excitement inside ;). Caroline was going crazy though. Like Brittany on happy pills. Only worse.

Of course that all changed when I read Caroline's post out loud-

"Interview after Klex:  
>Darren: It was just a really beautiful moment, it was really there, all the emotions and all the feelings and it wasn't just a scene, it was incredibly organic and with the candles and all and then the music and it was just extremely magical. I really think that Kurt and Blaine's first time was better than everyone else's because it was so organic and beautiful and it's just something that was bound to happen with all the love that they felt for each other, then sometimes you just have to act on that love and then they made love and it was just... It was magical.<br>Chris: lol yeah they fucked." Crying with laughter in a matter of seconds, holding on to each other gasping for breath, but starting to laugh all over when we saw the others face. You see me and Bertie. We bonded. Not sure how exactly but we did. I guess over the fact that our parents are forcing us into our future, maybe that neither of us have our dad. I don't know what it was but it was a blessing in disguise. Obviously except for the whole marriage part. That was still a touchy subject.

Earlier I had made it my personal mission to inform him on everything that goes on in the Epic Group of Random Fandom's. Including the fact that he IS a Drarry lovechild… He didn't respond well to that conversation… baring in mind it lead to searching the 'M' rated Drarry fics. It was too bad Caroline or Meygen weren't there to see it. They would have enjoyed the moment greatly.

He'd also started school. The one across the road from mine to be precise… Meygen heard gossip from her sorta distant friend, Phoebe, and it just so happened to be that Bertie Gilbert was going to the school over the road. Also that Kayla, my year group's resident bitch and slut, was out to get him… I may have gotten a bit jealous. I don't know why though. I mean Bertie was my friend. Nothing more… just great friends... Yeah let's call it that.

But then again… I could…

I mean I guess it's possible.

Me: *defeated sigh*

I'm just gonna get it out there. I think I'm in love with my best friend, my arranged husband. But he probably doesn't love me back; it would be stupid if he did. But there's always hope. I'm not ever gonna stop believing. Believing that we could be something…

**... So yeh K. That was a chapter. As you should have guessed. So review, critisize, catch a bird, get eaten by said bird an- Wait Tasha might tell me off for being nasty to my readers... Again. So yeah... Dont die. **

**BYE!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello. My friend has disappeared somewhere and therefore has not read this. So its sucks. Sue me.**

**...**

**Not literally though... cause my brothers stole my money.**

I hate the fact I can't hate him, I hate it that, that biatch has got her cheaply manicured nails into him.

As you may have guessed, me and Bertie had a fight…Over Kayla.

I mean honestly. He thinks that I'm making everything she's done up? Why would I do that? Apart from jealousy of course, but how could someone be jealous of that. When I talk about Kayla, I mean a bleach blonde, covered in make-up, self tanning (orange style) stuck up girl _(not__actually__sure__on__this__fact)_. She's also my years HBIC.

But anyway, somehow she got Bertie to go out with her. I swear she used mind control. He's too… natural for her.

So that weekend was spent avoiding windows, and any doors which weren't to my room, and on EGoRF. That makes everything better.

Monday morning…

Wasn't as awkward as I'd expected, mainly because I never actually saw him, might be the reason. At least I had something to look forward that day; hopefully it would get me through science, English, Graphics and art without homework.

You may be questioning what this glorious time of day is. Well… Its Lunch. But not just any lunchtime, lunchtime conversations with the EGoRF group… Always ending in sexual preferences, a large amount of laughter and more sexual references…

Today as me, Meygen and Reileigh were walking towards the group (we actually eat with other people and go to the group after) Penny, who is not an EGoRF member, just happened to shout:

'No! Don't touch my large penis!'

Me and Meygen: O.o

Reileigh: wtf?

Ginny: Penny has a large penis that is always covered by an invisibility cloak.

Sophie: She even said ow! When we hit it…

Caroline: *bursts into laughter*

…

Yeah. Were crazy… Literally. I think we're all mentally ill. Feel free to call the Asylum.

…

Lunch did its job though. I didn't think about my friendship (*cough* relationship) problems with Bertie. I was too… engrossed in the stories Sophie and Ginny have to share, and too busy telling Ginny, who is an epic ginger, that my mum. Has a phobia. Of… Ginger people.

That was an interesting conversation, I just thank God along with Meygen that we have no lessons with the group so Caroline cant… pervert our minds further.

I however did have a problem after school. You see Meygen lives round the corner… And she's coming round tonight. The same night superfakeslutbiatch is going round Bertie's. So she's gonna find out, and be sworn to secrecy… She'll keep the secret though. I hope.

*Page Break*

So we were almost there within the safety of my house. When I heard a voice sounding like a Drarry lovechild… He just had to turn up at that time didn't he! *sigh* I had to explain everything to Meygen, and I mean EVERYTHING. You see she doesn't like being out of the loop. If she thinks your hiding something… she'll hurt you… or scare you within an inch of your life. Either works fine for her. But that conversation ended with her thinking harder than Darren Criss probably was when Chris Colfer technically pole danced on glee.

Meygen: So… your being made to marry Bertie 'freaking' Gilbert?

Me: *nod*

Meygen: O: … and he lives down the road?

Me: *nod*

Meygen: OO: and you like him but he's with Kayla… As in right now?

Me: *defeated nod*

Before she could react the slam of a door echoed through our walls. We instantly rushed outside to see the drama… Yeah… Not many exciting things happen in our area…

Anyway! Going off topic! Back to the door slam! I bet you can guess where it came from? Yup correct straight from one of our favourite Youtuber's houses, came a furious Kayla and a pissed Bertie.

Meygen: Hey she sorta looks like a cat when she's angry

Me: Very True. But I wonder what happened.

Not that it's my concern. I warned him and he didn't listen. His fault really… She shouted some sort of insult in her cat like rage, and his face contorted into a mixture of anger and sadness, making me want to go right up to him and give him a hug.

Hugs always make people feel better.

**It's true. Hugs do always make people feel better... To me they do.**

**But hey.**

**A piece of Megan wisdom (sorry but theres not much to go around.)**

**So yeah. Review, critisize within said review if you so wish.**

**Byebye!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi. I havent updated alot recently... guess you probably realised that huh?... Yeah, well sorry.**

Caroline: Liveblogging the first time.

November 9th 1:01 am

K. So there I was bracing myself to start liveblogging with Caroline, Megan and Emma, when my phone chimed, a text from Bertie. 'Open your door.' After a moment of pondering whether I should let my best friend/crush/arranged husband into my house at 1am, I made my way quietly downstairs. Sure enough I opened my front door and there was Bertie clad in his Pajamas. 'Come on then. Are we going to watch this Klex or what?' I must say. I was not expecting Bertie to say that. Though I didn't have to be told twice, so I legged it up my stairs and into my room followed by Bertie.

**Because I have no inspiration on how to continue right now, thats all your getting. And it sucks, believe me I know. And! To let you know when 'The First Time' was liveblogged, we managed I think it was 593 comments :')**


	6. Chapter 6

**Oh hai there... Well its a sort of full chapter today. I havent had inspiration recently but then my friend and me saw a sheep in a video. It was from some country we didnt know existed but only found out about because someone from there read this fanfic****. But this sheep looked like it was staring into my soul. So Emily came up with the theory that it was really the sheep who read the fanfic and it was trying to persuade me to (or threaten to kill me if I didnt) update this story. So this chapter s for that sheep.**

**(Oh! and Natasha if your reading this chapter... Dont kill me cause I metioned your northern idiot. Love You!)**

A few days after the whole 'Kayla' debacle, Bertie came to apologize to me, of course me being completely in love with him meant I forgave him instantly. But anyway we got back into the routine of being best friends and future fiancée's, only we had Meygen looking over our every move.

See Meygen. She's very protective. To give an example when Reileigh got back together with her ex-boyfriend of about 3 times, Meygen started with threats and warnings like 'Don't hurt her. Or there will be consequences,' not to mention the fact that when Reileigh and her boyfriend meet up for her birthday... Meygen's going. She has a set of rules which both people within the relationship have showed their extreme distaste for. Like they have to stay 15cm away from each other at all times.

She's not as protective with me but still. It's awkward and poor Bertie's scared out of his mind. He's like Caroline with the Horrifying House Guest. Now, being December and advent, it means she'll back off slightly. We hope.

It is possible to love something but hate it at the same time right? ... If it is then that's how I feel about getting Christmas trees. It's so exciting but so, so cold. Mum and Bertie's mum decided they'd get theirs together, as well as dragging me and Bertie.

When we got to the tree place we all split off in two's, looking for the perfect one. The owner of the shop type thing went with the mothers, and his son, who was around mine and Bertie's age came with us two. Somewhere along the line me and the 'tree guy' got into a conversation and all was going well... Apparently not for Bertie though. He seemed to get a little green eyed. Me and the guy were only talking, it's not like we were planning a wedding in Tahiti! But no, Bertie got jealous and possessive and started an argument.

It was silly really. I mean. We weren't even together, and there he was (verbally) fighting with this random person about me. I have to admit though... It felt good to know he at least has a shred of feeling for me. Whether as severe as mine, it didn't matter. At least he cared. However I couldn't let him get away with what he did. So I did my best to impersonate Rachel Berry and stormed back to our mothers. Fortunately they got the trees, so no more bickering or awkwardness was compulsory.

We got home fine, me and mum were invited for hot chocolate at Bertie's, but I made an excuse to be late. Bertie, knowing I was pissed at him, followed me to my house where I tried my best not to sound pleased that he liked me, and more like I was furious with him. Let's say, it didn't have the same effect as it would if Meygen, Caroline, Emma, Ginny, Sophie, Reileigh... So basically the whole of EGoRF was in my situation. They all are either better actors, or scary when they want to be. Whereas I. I can't fake anything. So he caught onto my pretend anger and whilst I was ranting he did a typical guy move that they use to shut us girls up.

He kissed me.

**Hi. Again Tash. Dont kill me. And if he complains. I dont give a damn. **

**BUT ANYWAY. Normal-ish people. Review if you want. It would be nice. But if you dont want to. Thats fine. It shows me that you dont like me. Which is ok really. Because Im not to fond of you either.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Oh hai there. People still read this after I don't update in ages? Oh well. I thought I'd come out of hibernation to give you a new chapter because I got told to by most of EGoRF... So here you go!**

"So... We're a couple?"

"Yeah yeah whatever you say." I said being as dismissive as ever.

"Are you even listeni-" Bertie's question got cut off by my choked sob. His eyes flicked to my laptop screen and a look of realisation overtook his facial expression. On the screen was the BBC I player replaying the ending scene of the last episode of the second season of Sherlock.

* * *

><p>"So Andy... What did you do over the weekend?" Meygen asked me in a suggestive tone. Her tone wasn't the only thing making me suspicious (and apparently the rest of our lunch group) it was also the fact that apart from asking how each other are, we don't generally talk about ourselves at lunch with EGoRF.<p>

"Nothing really, just re-watched Reichenbach over and over" Inside I just wanted to shout at the top of my voice that Bertie asked me to be his official girlfriend and scream whilst doing a happy dance, but I didn't think it would go down well, considering most of EGoRF only know that I'm in an arranged marriage and not who it's with. Little did I know Meygen was going to alter that.

"YOU LIE" She exclaimed. Then explained, in great detail, EGoRF's reaction went as followed: .

After they calmed Meygen turned to me and said "You really need to get curtains for your kitchen window. I don't need to see any PDA" *insert blush here*

* * *

><p>Some people would be happy to have attention from their friends at all times in the school day. Me? Not so much. Because of exams we had 2 lessons after lunch so that meant 2 more lessons with at least one EGoRF member who kept obsessing overteasing me about my situation. Luckily I lived through it and didn't end up killing anyone, and other than that the day was pretty good... until I walked out of the school gates. There right in front of me. Was a desperate looking Kayla and an uncomfortable/angry looking Bertie. Kissing.

I didn't realise I was crying until an undecipherable noise escaped my throat. Kayla turned and smirked whilst Bertie had a look of shock/guilt/anger on his face. As Kayla started walking towards me, no doubt going to boast about the fact that MY boyfriend was just seen kissing HER, Meygen, Reileigh and another girl named Selene emerged from school property. The 2 EGoRFians, registering my state immediately turned protective. Reileigh came running to me asking what happened and if I was okay then after I answered she turned and copied Meygen's actions, which consisted of giving a death glare to Kayla, making her stop in her tracks and causing her eyes to widen in fear and then marching to Bertie and repeating the action. Soon enough the rest of EGoRF joined. Somehow I don't think anyone cared that they might miss their buses or whatever, I think the only thing that mattered was whether all the members of the (EGoRF) family were okay. Hence them all acting like momma bears.

* * *

><p>I got home eventually. I sort of ran off whilst Bertie and Kayla were getting mentally stabbed multiple times and asked Selene's mum to 'get me away from here.' And I ended up in an empty house minus me and the dogs crying into every pillow in sight.<p>

A slight knocking was heard causing the dogs to go crazy, forcing me to open the door to spare me a headache. Do you want to guess who it was? And no, it wasn't Brendon Urie (as much as I hoped it would be). It was Bertie of course. He was looking rather distraught, his expression mimicking mine in a poetic and ironic way.

"It wasn't my fault. I swe-" I placed my hand over his mouth before he could continue. Anyone who wasn't an incompetent swine could see that Bertie was uncomfortable in the kiss and was wishing that he wasn't there. Not to mention the angry look on his face, indicating that the action was against his will. So therefore I had come to the conclusion that he was forced into the act of affection. That eased the pain a bit but what also wounded me was the fact that he didn't say anything to me. Sure my friends would have most likely tried to attack him. But he still could have tried.

Sensing I didn't want him to speak he wrapped his arms around me and allowed me to cry into his chest. It was a weird situation, hugging the person who had caused some of the heartbreak I was experiencing, but it felt natural. Like even though something bad had occurred, the only person who could console me was one of the villains.

"I wouldn't do that to you Andy" Bertie murmured into my hair. "I care about you too much." My response being me snuggling into his chest more and sniffling, trying to rid my system of tears and sadness enough to form a proper sentence. Although my effort was going to be proven useless because of his next sentence.

"I love you too much."

**I hate happiness. Anyway. If you want to be a nice person and review or favorite or whatever, feel free because I will most likely love you for the rest of my life. If you don't, that's fine I dislike you too. Very much actually. Actually go sit in a tub of sulfuric acid... Then review. I might like you after that.**


	8. Chapter 8

******Hello. This is the end of this Fanfiction so thank you for reading and goodbye.**

**15 years later **

20/11/2027- Bertie and I are still happily married despite our unorthodox relationship and are expecting our first child, a girl called Melissa Rose in just under a month.

_Andrea xx_

**(Nearly) 5 years after that**

4/9/2032- Today is our twin sons, Chris and Kyle (born in December 2027) first day at school.

_Andrea xx_

**15 years after that**

9/10/2047- Melissa has just moved out of home and into her own home.

_Andrea xx_

**1 year after that**

13/11/2048- Chris and Kyle have left home to travel the world and hopefully gain a life skill on the way.

_Andrea xx_

**40 years after that**

16-8-2088- I said goodbye to Bertie today. It was heartbreaking and I will miss him with all my heart and can only look forward to when we meet again.

_Andrea xx_

**2 months after that**

23-10-2088-

My mother, Andrea Gilbert, was taken from us a week ago. She was a strong, passionate person. A wonderful wife to my late father and a loving mother to me and my two brothers. Although still living and enjoying life she always had a longing to be reunited with my father. Now hopefully her wish has come true. Love you forever and always. Rest in Peace Mum xxx

_Melissa_

__**The End.**


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